— by AlanWam —
I’ve just had my first introduction to slapstick and I loved it although it had some interesting moments.
Sex is not that easy as I share a house with a girl friend of mine and my current boyfriend shares with four other guys. When my girl friend told me she was going away for the weekend I told Graham and he suggested we went out for a meal on Saturday night and I agreed, adding that coffee could be taken at my house!
The meal was a great success and we went back to the house and opened a bottle of wine as it was still early. As we got more comfortable the subject turned to sex and Graham said he wanted to show me something very different if I was agreeable. I was a little unsure as he could be planning to do anything but, seeing my hesitation, he told me that he wasn’t going to harm me or anything like that and so I eventually agreed. He wasted no time from then on and took me to the bedroom and told me to strip off which I was only to happy to do but then he told me he wanted me to get dressed again and he would pick the clothes. Mystified I agreed and showed him where everything was kept. After some searching he selected an oldish white bra and knickers and of course a suspender belt and stockings as I knew he would. From the wardrobe he took out a white button through blouse and a full floral cotton skirt I hadn’t worn for years and then he told me to get dressed and join him downstairs. I started to get dressed in a daze and then decided I would put on some other clothes in which I felt sexier but were still similar to his choice. I had a nice matching undies set in white lace and I particularly liked the bra as it made my already large firm breasts even more prominent and gave me a lovely cleavage. I picked another button through white blouse but this one was beautifully embroidered and much newer. The skirt I swapped for a lovely full black ankle length number and I added some smart black court shoes to complete the ensemble.
While I’d been getting dressed I’d heard the front door open and shut a few times and when I went into the kitchen I found Graham sitting at the table which was now covered by a cloth under which were some unknown items. I also noticed that Graham had changed and now wore a pair of black trousers and a white shirt in place of his suit and there were no shoes on his feet. I found this very curious and asked him what he was up to but he wouldn’t tell me. He commented on my change of clothes and said I looked great but then he added something that I didn’t yet understand as he said he hoped I wouldn’t regret my decision later on.
He didn’t let me dwell on that but sat me down on a kitchen chair and sat astride me before unbuttoning my blouse until my bra was just visible. Then he kissed me a few time on my neck before producing a small spoon and a pot of yoghurt from under the cloth. He dipped in the spoon and took it out brimming with yoghurt and I thought he was going to feed me but instead he dribbled some onto my neck. It was icy cold and it ran slowly down my neck towards my tits before Graham slowly licked it off. It was a lovely sensation as his tongue ran up my neck and I giggled. He repeated the move again before getting off me and lifting my skirt to my waist and instructing me to hold it in place. He then produced a jar of jam which he opened and pulled out a handful which he rubbed on my thighs between my stocking tops and knickers. Again he licked it off very slowly and I loved the feeling of his tongue brushing my knickers. When my thighs were clean he straightened my skirt and sat astride me again. This time he produced a jug and tipped it towards my chest. I assumed this was to be a repeat of the yoghurt but this time he poured on custard which was deliciously warm and we both watched as it ran down over my tits. I was a little alarmed as he let it run on without attempting to stop it and before long it reached my bra. I wasn’t sure I approved of this but I forgot my doubts as once again his tongue started its cleaning job.
Again he lifted my skirt and this time he squirted a line of chocolate sauce up my stockings from the knee to the top seam before licking it off. My concern over the mess soon passed yet again as his tongue did its job. When he’d finished he asked me which I’d liked best and I said that the last one had been the best but maybe his tongue ought to travel a bit further. What I meant was upwards but that’s not what happened exactly as he picked up the custard jug and poured the entire contents over my leg. I watched in horror as it covered my stockings, my shoes and flooded across the floor. I still enjoyed the next bit as Graham started with his tongue at my shoe and ran it quickly up the leg stopping just short of goal. There was so much custard he had no chance of licking it off and he emerged with his face covered and it. He wiped his face clean before pulling my skirt down over my legs and sitting astride me. I was about to comment on the custard soaking through my skirt when he produced his next surprise and tipped a large bowl of baked beans over my blouse. I gasped, not only from the cold beans, but also from the mess he’d made of my blouse. I could feel the beans running down the inside of my blouse as he rubbed them well into my tits staining not only my blouse but my once white bra.
Next he removed my still clean shoe and I watched in horror as he filled it to the brim with tomato ketchup before squashing my foot back in. He then emptied some tapioca or semolina over my skirt before sitting on me and squashing it in with his bum. The final indignity came as he emptied a tin of syrup over my head rubbing it well in ruining my hairdo and make-up.
Even though I must have looked a mess and I smelt I was starting to get turned on by the food running down inside and outside my clothes, but now it was my turn.
I sat Graham down on the chair and pulled the cover off the table revealing all sorts of messy food. I then set about making sure his clothes suffered in the same way mine had. I then pulled up my skirt revealing my knickers, which were still surprisingly white, and tipped in a pot of chocolate sauce followed by a pot of cream which contrasted nicely. Although a lot ran out down my legs I ordered Graham to lick the rest off. He obediently set to work with his tongue and I was lost.
Eventually my legs could hold out no longer and I sank to the floor lying in all the food. Graham dropped his trousers and shorts and we had a lovely sloppy fuck together.
The surprises weren’t over because just as we’d finished we heard the front door open. There was nothing we could do so we just lay there and in walked Tina, my flatmate. She certainly looked shocked but she didn’t say a word and went into the lounge and turned on the television. Graham and I had to laugh as we set about clearing up the kitchen and ourselves. As I removed my clothes I realised none of them were worth salvaging and I thought of the cost but I decided that the results were worth it and vowed to repeat the experience again.