— by Diva —
We went out to dinner, a nice, quaint Italian place. She and I talked like crazy, as usual. After the bottle of Chianti was half empty, she took my hand and said she had to tell me something. I could tell she was nervous. The pessimist in me thought “OK, this is it.. back to bach-ing it!” She looked at me and squeezed my hand tightly.
“I, um, want to share something with you. Please don’t think I’m crazy, but…”
I looked at her and barely eeked out a “but… what?”
She continued “Well, our sex life is great, and I am not complaining, but there is something I want to do, well, that I really like and I want to do it with you”.
I was relieved!! “Oh??? And that would be..??” I was intrigued and slightly excited at her secret fantasy.
She laughed nervously and went on. “Oh boy. OK, well, I like to mix up foreplay with, ah, wellll… like lingerie.. and…”
I was baffled. “and…???”
She squeezed my hand and drew near to my face. “And a cream pie-in-the-face. It kinda turns me on. You think I’m crazy, I know. But just something about the way a pie smells and tastes and feels, it just really turns me on!”
“No no!! Not crazy at all. I’m, er, well.. I don’t get it, but I’m open to it. To be honest, a pie in the face isn’t sexy to me, but thats just me.”
“Really, you’re OK with this??” I reassured her, and once she relaxed, I asked her to explain.
“I dunno.. you know I love to play-act, and I just like the feeling of all that whipped cream and the sheer fun of it!!” She drew close.. “I want to be standing in front of you in my lingerie, and then I get plastered with a really big whipped-cream pie. It goes all over my face and hair and shoulders, and I just let it ooze off of me like in the old movies. Then my lingerie slips off and I’m naked for you, all of a sudden.”
Her eyes were lit up like candles when she told me this.
“Well, the naked part turns me on.. the pie thing is just funny!!”
She said “That’s OK.. as long as you still like me!”
I kissed her in reply! I said “Well, lets not talk about it, OK?”
Her face fell a little and she gave a disappointed nod.
A few weeks later, we had a romantic evening and we wound up naked. During foreplay, I took out two cotton sashes from old robes I used to have and I tied her ankles and her hands behind her back. She was kneeling on the bed, and the covers were on the floor on the far side of the bed. I was wearing my shorts still, though she was stark naked.
We kissed for a while and she said “OOh, I like this!! You’ve never tied me up before!!!” I smiled and told her I was glad she was having fun. “I am”, she said, “And just wait until I tie you up!”.
“Promises, promises” I laughed, hoping to hell that she would tie me up one day!! Finally, while she watched, I slowly took off my shorts, looking at the delight in her eyes!
“Well, its about time!! Off, take them off!” I stood before her, naked, and she said “OOh, well, it looks like all of you is very awake!!” She smiled really big, and I kissed her for a long time, running my hands over her collar bone, her chest, and finally her breasts and nipples. She sighed and kissed me very passionately.
I said, “‘Scuse me for a sec.. I need to, er, ya know”.
She just said “Hurry back!”.
I left the room and closed the door, padding softly to the kitchen. There I took a paper plate and the extra-large tub of cool-whip that I had bought the day before. Taking a spatula, I dumped out the whole tub of whipped cream onto the paper plate, making a huge cream-pie. I was surprised how tall it was. I took some marshmallow topping and put that on top, and drizzled some chocolate syrup. A cherry made it perfect. It was heavier than I had thought it would be, and so big that it started to spread out to almost ooze over the sides!
I stopped in the bathroom and ran the water and the toilet to make it sound like I had been in there.
Opening the bedroom door, I poked my head in and there was my sweetie, still tied up and smiling, wonderfully naked and amazingly sexy.
“Its about time!! Get in here, I almost undid these knots!!”
I smiled and said “Someone wants to get up close and personal”.
She laughed ” I bet! He’s up at attention and waving at me already!!”
I said “So you want an introduction?”
She said “Well, of course.. I have two friends of my own standing at attention waiting for your hands!!!”
I smiled and opened the door, the pie in my hand in front of me. Her eyes widened, and she yelled loudly “Oh my god!!!” I nodded, and walked closer. She started to laugh and shook her head, smiling, her eyes like saucers. I just smiled, enjoying the anticipation. She said, through her nervous laughter, “Honey?? No. Oh, no no no! Don’t you dare!! That thing is huge!!”
I nodded my head. “Don’t!” She laughed, leaning a little backwards.
I smiled and walked up to the edge of the bed.
“Oh man! Darling? Sweetie? Please! No! No no no no no! Oh no, not a pie!” She smiled at me, blinking her eyes. “I’m tied up, I can’t defend myself!”
“I am going to enjoy this. Do you know what I do to gorgeous naked women who are all tied up?”
She blushed and shook her head
“Do you know what I do with gorgeous naked women whom I’m nuts about?”
“Who cares about them…what are you gonna do to me????” She was really getting into this little act.
“I treat them to dessert, of course, and for you, you…I am going to take this huge chocolate cream pie of pies….and give you the mostest, bestest, sexyiest, creamyest pie-in-the-face you have ever had.”
“Now? Like right now?”
“You, my love, and going to wear this pie Alll over your body.”
“You sure ya wanna do that? I mean I’m all tied up”
“Am I sure??? Oh very. Very, very sure. I want to do this sooooo badly.”
“I wouldn’t be able to defend myself”
“I noticed,” It was so hard to keep a straight face. I completely understood why she loved pies so much. I couldn’t believe how much fun this was. I couldn’t believe how turned on I was!
“But…but…what’s my crime?
“You really don’t know your crime..” We were both really getting into an act.
“I think its only fair. What did I do to deserve a pie in the face?”
“Why did I strip you naked and tie you up and am going, just going, to plaster you with this gooey, and I mean gooey chocolate cream pie?”
“Give me a chance to explain at least.”
“Your crime, my love, is the sweetest crime of all…. you’re amazing and I fell for you.”
“Guilty as charged, sir”
“Very guilty. Will you take your punishment willingly? Its only fair.”
“I guess this means I have to get the pie. I mean…you gotta do what you gotta do, right?
“I think you have to get the pie. I think I have to get you with it…. right here and right now.”
“Well, I am guilty.”
“Guilty is an understatement.”
“Since there’s no way out of it…I suppose we ought go ahead and do it then. Meet my destiny so to speak.”
“I have your destiny in your hand!”
“Well…I am guilty. I deserve the chocolate and cream.” She took a deep breath and grinned at me.”
“Do you the guilty party, accept your guilt and willingly accept the punishment? Do you really believe you deserve the chocolate and cream?”
“I am guilty and accept full and total responsibility for my crime.”
“Then I declare the punishment to be stripped naked, tied up, and pied until deliciously creamy and sexy. Repeat after me, ‘I deserve the pie’.”
She stuck out her chest, looking proud and incredibly sexy, “I. Do. Deserve. The. Pie!”
And as I threw the cream pie at her face, she gave a last “No!” before closing her eyes and thrusting her chin forward, putting her face into the oncoming cream pie. The cream made a great sound as it hit her right in the face! The white topping went everywhere, and as the plate started to slide down her face, I rubbed it in big circular motions all over her face and hair, making sure she was thoroughly pied! The cream had shot over the top of her head, getting in her hair, and was all over her face engulfing both ears and everything in between! It had splattered over her shoulders, on her neck, and as I had rubbed in circles had oozed and dripped down in sticky globs to wind up on her breasts, which I found very erotic. She gave a muffled squeak under the gooey topping, and the plate oozed off of her, trailing white down her arm.
She laughed, and licked her lips! “Sticky!!! Oh Man!! Stick-Y!!!”
We were both laughing!! It was funny!!! I took a big glob off of the bed and applied it gently and completely to one nipple. She gasped and groaned a little, and bit her lower lip. “Untie me!” I untied her, and we made love in all of that mess, slipping and sliding and laughing about it.
The Chocolate Lady on a Naked Horse