— by Argus —

Note: what follows is part one of one person’s story of discovery and exploration into getting messy.

The original text was edited a little, some spelling fixed, some words fished for until the right ones were discovered. ———————————————————————-

Part 1: The early years! πŸ™‚

Ok, to start with, this is an account of how I got into all of this, where it took me, and all that. Basically, how I got from being very straight-laced and, well, bored, to having fun and getting very very messy!

I used to work at a cafe, serving latte and depth-charges (coffee with a shot of espresso) to students and tons of guys with goatees and weird majors. Anyway, my best friend LaNyssah (*not* her real name, but her real name is almost as unique) invited me to a party, and of course I’d go. Wherever she went, I went. She is, well… ok: I take very good care of myself, and I think I have a pretty good body. Most of the guys who come in to the cafe think do anyway. I have *never* been jealous of anyone else, except maybe L. She is about my height, but with dark brown skin.. really good skin (I am so jealous!), and a great body. I am not gay by a long way, but if I had to go on a desert island, I’d have to go with her! (Ok, now I am blushing). I’ll explain later.

So to make a long story even longer, we both work the same shift and it must have been finals because he had the coffee week from hell. By Saturday night we were both so stressed from crabby students, late paychecks, rent due, sick cats (nevermind), and some asshole pinched my ass so hard that week it left a welt! Ugh. Memories. So by the time the party was on, we were ready to Party! I even decided to have two beers and not my usual one!

So: to the party and the point of all of this. L and I hung around, I was looking for a possible significant-other, turned up with nada (again! – so where are all the nice handsome rich men!!?? πŸ˜‰ ), and just hung out with L, drinking a few beers and getting bored. I knew some of the people at the party, which was in an old apartment.. high ceilings, floors that squeaked like angry birds when you walked, an old kitchen… a very nice old place! Lots of nice posters on the walls… I liked the owners already! Anyway, we got bored, and were bitching about the fact that nothing was happening. LaNyssah pulled me into the bedroom-turned-coatroom (after a failed attempt to get people to dance… it was hard to pull them away from their philosophy discussions I guess) and had an idea, which at the *time* sounded completely nuts! It went like this (sort of, based on my memory, and this happened a while ago. Artistic license here we come) L: Ok, so lets get crazy! If I dont let loose I am going to go crazy! Me:I know! Lets do something wild. (By this time I had a nice light buzz on, so whatever catholic-school-girl inhibitions I had were mildly slipping) L: Ok girl! I knew you’d be into this! Here’s what we should do: (she was close, looking into my eyes with a mischeif that had me hooked from that point on! Whatever she did, I did… I wanted to be like her). L(again): We take off *all* of our clothes, put them in our coats here for a while, and walk out there as if nothing was different! Lets see if anyone says anything! Me: ARE YOU NUTS?? Girl, no way! You have a great body (she used to work as a stripper for bachelor parties.. did I mention that??? ooops), but not me! No way! (Inside I was quaking! It sounded like too much fun and deep down I wanted her to talk me into it. I was too afraid to make my own decisions back then). L: What? You have a great little body! All the men think so, believe me! Me: No way! You’re a 36C! How will I look next to you! L: Don’t even go there, miss 34-whetever! Besides, you’re more like a 35. You have great tits, girl, I have seen you in the shower! (This flattered me for some reason.. if a guy said that to me I’d slap him!! Anyway, yes, women do talk like that.. and worse!) Me: Well, what do we do once we are out there??? L: Just as if you had clothes on and try not to laugh! Come on. If I go first, will you follow? Don’t leave me alone out there looking like a fool! Me: (Smiling hugely)… ok! You are crazy!!

We were launghing like crazy, as quietly as we could! L was out of her clothes faster than I. I have to tell you… she has the most beautiful brown skin *all* over, the roundest ass I have ever seen (jealous!) and two very round, large, firm breasts. She was completely naked, waiting for me. I stripped down to my panties out of my cotton dress… a simple affair I got on a sale with two others. She said “Panties too! come on!” I laughed, and must have blushed really red, and took the off, stuffing them with the rest of my clothes into the coat. I was glad the steam heat was on high and the place was warm. My nipples went hard anyway, with the thrill of it. I could *not* believe I was doing this!! I was scared to go through the door to the rest of the party!

Now, let me explain me: I have medium-length straight black hair (to the middle of my shoulder blades in back), a good body, no potbelly at *all*, an ok ass according to me, but I will admit to having a great set of firm, round tits (I always called the breasts until I met L! Bad influence!! ;)… my nipples have a life of their own; when they get hard they really stick out! I have always felt incredible sexy when this happens, and every boyfriend I ever had got instantly hard when I took of my bra to show them my “two best friends”!!! L said that she never noticed that they were so pointy until now. (Pointy? I wondered..must be the dreaded N.E.!!)

So, my heart was pounding, and she asked if I was ready!! I barely was able to say “no” in a really small, nervous voice, when she opened the door and walked right out!!! I almost didn’t follow but at that moment my feet had a life of their own, and out I walked into the dining room which had been turned into a junk-food buffet for everyone. I followed L into the living room, my breasts bouncing a little as I walked!

The only thing *anyone* said as we walked out of that bedroom, dressed in our birthday suits, was some guy who looked at us and said “um…” because he didn’t know what to say! I had a big smile on my face!! No one said *anything*!! I could not believe it!! But the guys had their eyes on us, that is for sure. As I walked up the hall into the living room, I passed a tall skinny arty-looking guy, who looked me in the eyes (he should of been looking lower, but his loss). I looked back and said “Hi!!” IN the most cheery voice I could muster!

I was so nervous, scared, thrilled, and I had never felt sexier in my life!! (That was to change again shortly!! Read on. . .) I was very conscious of the way my breasts bounced and wiggled a little as I walked, and this made me feel even sexier! L was sitting on the couch next to this very nervous looking jewish-sorta guy (at least we were having an effect!!). I sat down in a chair, crossed my legs, put my arms on the armrests, and tried to act like I had on my best green dress (I have light olive skin, so green gos well with me). The guy next to L was staring at my tits, which *thrilled* me, since he was sitting next to the finest pair I could think of, so I put my head back, stuck my chest out just a *little*, and listened to the music, all the time in the back of my buzzing head thinking ” I *cannot* believe I am doing this!!!

So, we sat for a while, people got used to us, no one said a word, amazingly (to this day I am amazed). L finally looked at me and said “I’m going to get some chips. Want anything?” I said I’d go with, so off we went, naked as heaven can see, to the dining room where the tables were pushed back and covered with bowls of doritos, potato chips, watery dip, pretzles….little orange cheesy balls that looked like styrofoam cat toys. We stood close to each other, and whispered:

Me: Wow! No one said anything! Maybe this was not such a good idea. Think of what people will say for the next month!!! L : Who cares about what they think! I am having a great time!! Everyone is pretending not to notice! Except the guy who is staring at your tits! I hope he doesn’t come all over or anything! Me: LaNyssah!! You are soo bad! L: So are you having fun? Me: Yeah.. it really feels sexy, but I dunno… lets go back and get dressed L: Aw, no. Lets stay some more. Lets get even more crazy!! COme on, have fun! Lighten up!! DO you know the reaction you are giving to people here??? Me: Well, maybe a little more. But, I dunno….

I was getting cold feet for no reason at all.. I was just getting a sense of morality or something. Now: *Here* is where it really begins, and here is where my life changed!

Me: Naw, I feel really.. this is too crazy. I am gonna go get dressed. L: Naw, lets get crazy again….what can we do?? Come on, don’t leave me out here alone. .. any ideas?? Me: Well, no not really, but ok. I’ll stay for a while. L: Why don’t you go sit in someone’s lap?? Me: No way!! You go! I don’t know! *You* think of something! You got us into this mess, you get us out!! L: Ok let me think.

She chewed on a dorito.

Me: I really feel like I should be wearing something (I had done a complete 180 from the point I had first stepped out of the door). L: Ok.

So, I turned to walk toward the bedroom. I heard L say “Hey, wait, come here a sec!”.

So, I turned.

Did I mention that a guest had brought to the party a large banana-cream pie, which had then sat un-eaten on that table for quite a long time? It had become soft and very gooey.

So, I turned. And I turned, face, first, into that very very very thick and very very creamy and very very gooey banana-cream-pie which L had tossed, no, *thrown* right at my face!!! I had barely enough time to close my eyes!!! It hit my face with a lout splatting noise, kind of like a “plap!”, sending cream onto a crabby looking girl behind me, all over her arm. The shock of it just stunned me!! All I could do was stand there, my back arching… my mouth in a big “O”, and all I could say was “Ohhh!”, which was the beginning of “Omigod!!”!

It was really thick, and really heavy!! It must have weighed 10 pounds, or so it felt!

I was shocked!! I was stunned! It was a kind of cold pie, so my nipples did their up-at-attention thing again, just as the tin fell off my face and a big piece of crust slid down the side of my face onto my left breast, the cool creamy pie seeping down over my nipple, slowly.

I stood there, my arms half up, half down, I started to laugh a shocked laugh.. I could not move!!! I was stunned! It felt cold! It felt gooey! It felt. . .


Wow, did it feel good!!! The cream on my nipple was sooo sensual.. the pie got into my mouth, and it tasted good. I finally said “Jesus!!”! I started to get wet!! It was the most sexy, fun, sensual feeling I had ever had for some crazy reason!!!

So, as I stood there, naked naked naked to the world, with a banana cream pie all over my face, my black hair, my chest, one arm, and one breast, L just laughed!! She said “Oh Shit!! Oh Shitt!! Oh OH!!! ” She just laughed!!! One guy said “Whoa!!” One person was horrified, some people were shocked, but many just laughed!!!! This got me more excited!! I started to laugh!! “Oh my god” I finally was able to say!!! Someone yelled “Rose got pied!!!!!” Now for some reason *that* just made me laugh more, and made me feel really sexy! Finally, I commanded my arms to move and wipe my eyes. I threw a piece at L and it went Splat on here brown skin, and so it looked *really* white! She screamed!! She said” Oh girl you look funny!” and she laughed! Finally everyone in the room applauded, yelled, etc. I walked into the bathroom and took one look at myself… two brown eyes peeking out from a layer of creamy goo and pieces of crust! It was really heavy still on my face! I looked at me and laughed!! I start to clean up when L came into the bathroom and was laughing!

L: Well, you said you wanted to wear something, and sometime ya gotta do what ya gotta do!! Me: Thats ok, I still love you! I guess I deserved that, almost abandoning you like that! L: Well, you were brave to go out there all naked with me. I like to do it.. I have an exibitionist streak in me. I like to see men’s reactions to my tits when they realize its “look-no-touch”!! And she smiled Me: You’re bad!! No, you are evil!!! L: I hope you are not mad, Rosie. (Not my real name, sorry πŸ˜‰ Me: No, but when you least expect it, expect it!! L: Ok, clean up and lets get out of here… I’ll buy you a beer!

It was weeks later that I confessed to L my near-orgasm at getting pied, and standing thre naked while people laughed and cheered as I got pied. I had never had a pie-in-the-face, though I saw one once in high school. It was very scary to me, but now that I had had one, my life had changed. I wanted to do it again, to see what happened.

So thats the story of how it all started. As an epilogue…read on.

One night I was alone in my apartment, L was now my roommate but out of town for family, and I was in a very horny, curious mood. So, off I went to the store and bought 3 large cans of whipped cream, and a large chocolate syrup. I then got crazy, and bought a caramel topping, a marshmellow topping, and just for fun one more can of whipped cream. Well, I was embarrased at the checkout! So I got home, climbed into the tub naked (with my “woman’s best friend” nearby, batteries ready to go). I poured the contents of an entire can onto a paper plate, making a huge towering pie of whipped cream. I stood there, in the bathtup, pie in hand, and imagined myself on trial, naked. The judge asked me a question, I said “I don’t know”, and I pied myself, whipped cream all over my body. I poured out the rest of the cans, topping one with marshmellow (sticky!!), one with caramel, and one with chocolate. By the time I was done pie-facing myself, smashing cream into my tits, over my stomach, on my ass, I was really gone! At the end, I got my “friend” ready, took the stuff off the tub floor, covered my eyes, ears, and head, and lay down, and I did myself until I had this incredible orgasm!!

After washing up and gettng the cream out of my nose πŸ™‚ I was convinced that I was really into getting messy. I seemed to like being exposed, laughed at.. like a clown or an actor, or a prisoner. I love being tied up, but I loved the reaction of my imaginary courtroom, my imaginary lover getting so hard watching me.

Anyway, so I’d better stop here.