— by AlanWam —
I love getting absolutely filthy as a prelude to sex and so when I have a girlfriend I always try to get her interested. Some are interested and others aren’t but I don’t think I’ve ever lost a girlfriend by asking, but with my latest girlfriend I think I’ve met my match. We’d been going out together for a few weeks when we ended up in bed together at my house. What better time to broach the subject and so I did.
She was very interested and asked all about slapstick so I showed her some magazines on the subject and she read them avidly. When she’d finished she started asking me questions. She asked me what turned me on in particular and I said the girl should be fully dressed in smart new clothes and she must get completely covered in lots of messy things with the ultimate aim of the clothes being totally ruined and preferably in rags. She asked what kind of messy things were the best and I said the messier the better and gave her a few examples. She read some more magazines and then we made love.
She caught me completely unawares in the morning as she was leaving when she invited me to stay at her house the following weekend. In a matter of fact voice she told me to bring lots of clothes as she planned to have a really messy weekend and with that she left. Well the next week went in a daze as I really wasn’t sure what she planned to do or if she was even serious but I decided I ought to be prepared so I set about packing a few changes of clothes and on Friday, with my heart pounding, I arrived at her house.
She opened the door and invited me in showing me into the lounge. The house was beautifully furnished and I decided I ought to ask what she did for a living as she was obviously well off, but before I could she asked if I was ready for some fun straight away and I said I was. I was glad I’d come prepared wearing jeans and a sweatshirt destined to be covered at some point. Although Rebecca looked gorgeous in anything I was a little disappointed to see she was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a t-shirt but I thought it was early days and got to my feet ready to do battle. Then, almost as an afterthought, she looked down at her clothes, said she better change and went off up the stairs.
I sat down again not really knowing what to expect. The clothes she’d been wearing were obviously new and expensive and I wondered if she planned to wear some really old clothes. I also began to wonder what food she had planned. It could just be a couple of eggs or, even worse, a shaving foam pie. So many thoughts went through my mind while I waited but when she reappeared my first worries were completely forgotten.
Rebecca is tall and very shapely with long legs that look good naked but look even better in high heels which is what she was wearing. To be specific, a pair of black suede court shoes with a four inch heel. Her long legs were encased in sheer black seamed nylons which disappeared, just above the knee, beneath the hem of a lovely black evening dress. It was black taffeta and had a low cut front, puff ball three-quarter length sleeves, a tight fitting embroidered bodice and a large full skirt which rustled with every step she took. Her long dark hair, which was cut in a fringe at the front, hung straight down her back and glistened beautifully. Round her neck, just above her ample cleavage, hung a fine gold chain which matched the long earrings and the dress watch. She gave me a twirl revealing a low cut back almost to her bum and as I let out a whistle she said she hoped I liked it as she’d spent a long time choosing the whole outfit yesterday and it had cost a lot of money.
Taking my hand she led me into the kitchen which was large and old. The floor was quarry tile and the units oak or something similar. What struck me first was there was no sign of Rebecca having bothered to put anything away or protect anything, I didn’t have long to think because my other worry was also dispelled when she pulled a sheet off a large array of buckets filled with all sorts of gunge. I didn’t have time to pay much attention to what was there because Rebecca picked up a bucket and walking to the other end of the kitchen she upturned it pouring a gallon of chocolate sauce on the floor. Then she walked through it deliberately dragging her feet in the chocolate before gesturing for me to do the same. I tipped a bucket of beans on the floor and did the same turning my white trainers orange. Rebecca took another bucket of beans and walked back to the chocolate end before turning and throwing the beans near me. They landed on the floor splashing beans up my jeans and all over the wall and units. I replied with another bucket of chocolate which, as it splashed up Rebeccas legs, brought a squeal of delight. Rebecca then sat me down and made me hold open the top of my jeans while she poured in a bucket of custard which flooded all down my legs. After I’d recovered I sat Rebecca on another chair and made a great play of getting her to hold up her dress out of the way which exposed her stocking tops and a lovely pair of white knickers. I soon changed that as I poured on a bucket of tomato ketchup. Rebecca moaned and just sat there until the sauce had finished running down her legs before standing and straightening her still clean dress. This was to change as I tipped a bucket of brown sauce into her cleavage and most of it went down the front. I couldn’t resist her lovely long hair so I took a bucket of custard and made her bend over while I carefully dipped all her hair in making sure it was completely covered before she stood up quickly spraying custard everywhere and I watched as it slowly ran down over her once immaculate make-up. Then it became a free for all until we were completely covered and the floor was awash with food. Her dress was quite strong and I only succeeded in ripping small bits off it before dragging it off her.
I stripped off my jeans and sweatshirt and Rebecca wasted no time in ripping my boxer shorts off. I ripped off her knickers in the same way but left the stockings until the last moments of passion and as we both approached a climax I ripped them to shreds. After a rest we got to our feet and Rebecca took me by the hand and led me through to a shower room at the back of the kitchen where we washed each other off. When we were dry Rebecca went off to dry her hair and I started on the kitchen. I found a large bucket and filled it with water before starting to wash down the units, the walls and the door which all came up surprisingly clean. Rebecca reappeared after about ten minutes and she had changed back into her jeans and t-shirt. As she walked past me she gave me a little feel before collecting a mop and starting to sweep all the food on the floor into one pile. I wondered what she was going to do with it but my question was soon answered when she produced some trash bags and, after dropping in the remnants of our clothes, she ladled the food in with a dustpan. What was fun to watch was the fact that she knelt down to do it and contrived to get a lot of food all over her jeans. Not only that but she continually wiped her hands on her t-shirt so when we had finished tidying up she was almost as messy as before. Taking my hand she led me back to the shower and pulled me in. After a good soaking she wriggled out of her jeans revealing the tiniest knickers I’ve ever seen. I wasted no time in removing these in my normal way before ripping the t-shirt off to get at those lovely breasts. This time we made love in the shower before going to lie down for an hour.
When we’d recovered I suggested we go out for something to eat and so we got dressed. I put on a smart pair of trousers and a shirt and Rebecca wore a short white jersey skirt, a white blouse tied up under her tits and a pair of high heeled white shoes. Before we went out I noticed Rebecca picked up all the clothes, including the jeans, from the shower and dropped them in a trahs bag. She directed me to a pub down by the river and we parked near the river bank some distance from the pub as it was very busy. Rebecca had to get out my side as we were alongside the grass and we had to negotiate some puddles in the car park as it had only just stopped raining. We had a nice pub meal and a couple of drinks and when we left my car was all on its own and as we crossed the car park I noticed Rebecca didn’t avoid the puddles but walked straight through them and when we got to the car she walked round to her side and asked for me to let her in. I went round to her side and found her standing ankle deep in mud churned up by cars turning. Noticing my gaze she looked down and laughed (as if she didnÎt know!) and said she ought to take off her shoes before she got in the car. I agreed and she promptly sat down in the mud and lifted both feet up to me inviting me to take them off. I looked down to see her skirt up round her waist and a pair of tiny white knickers half submerged in mud. I carefully pulled at her shoes and as they came off she contrived to fall backwards into the mud coating her hair. She then got to her knees and unzipped me, pulling out my erect prick. As I massaged the mud into her hair she gave me a lovely blow job right where I stood in the car park. When she’d finished she quickly stripped off all her clothes and wiped off most of the mud before throwing the clothes, including the shoes, in a waste bin and getting in the car. We went to bed that night absolutely knackered and we had a good lie in the next morning.
Rebecca was first out of bed and I noticed she was wearing a lovely white silk floor length nightie over which she slipped a matching negligee before going down to fix breakfast while I lay back down. I heard her come back in but didn’t pay any attention until she told me to sit up and gave me a cup which she filled from a large coffee pot. Then she gave me a plate with a couple of pieces of toast on and then produced a huge tub of margarine for me. I spread the toast and then asked if there was any marmalade. She said there wasn’t but she had some jam and produced a large catering tin of raspberry jam. She knelt on the bed and offered me the tin but as I went to dip the knife in she scolded me and told me not to use the knife. Before I could ask what I could use she dipped her hand in and lifted out a big scoop which she put on the side of my plate before carefully wiping her hand on the hem of her negligee. She then pulled back the bed clothes and sat astride my knees before grabbing two huge handfuls of margarine and starting to massage my body. She continued until I was coated from head to foot before she did the same with the jam. As she slid up and down me she got more and more margarine and jam over her clothes. Next she poured the now cooled coffee over me and lay down on me. The coffee acted as a lubricant and we slid up and down each other very nicely. Soon it was time for the negligee and the nightie to depart and they made a gorgeous sound as they ripped. We made love on the bed in all the mess before having another shower together.
After the shower we went to bed again but in the spare room and didn’t arise until lunchtime which went without a mess. Rebecca then told me she had something special planned for the afternoon but I had to be smartly dressed or else she wouldn’t do it. I went upstairs and came down in my best clothes but she said it wasn’t good enough and insisted I wear a suit. I said I would and drove home to change but Rebecca insisted on coming along. I showed her the suit I had in mind but she wouldn’t accept it and picked out one of my best along with a brand new shirt, silk boxer shorts and new shoes. I thought long and hard but eventually decided to sacrifice them all and hoped that it would be worth it. We drove back to her house and she got me dressed before packing me off to the pub for an hour.
When I got back I let myself in and waited in the lounge. Rebecca appeared some time later looking sensational. She was wearing an ivory silk, off the shoulder, wedding dress. It was heavily embroidered with a large floor length skirt and a long train. She lifted it up to show me the layers of net covering the white stockings along with a garter. The shoes were high heeled white satin and she wore some lovely jewellery topped off by a long white veil. She looked absolutely radiant as she led me out to the garage which had been completely cleared. I watched mesmerized as she kicked over a large drum of old engine oil which spread quickly over the floor. She then proceeded to walk round trailing her dress in it and I watched as it soaked up the material. She pulled up her dress and kicked over another drum before stamping in the oil splashing it up the front of her stockings and over her shoes.
Then it was my turn and Rebecca dipped a tin into another drum of oil soaking her sleeve in the process and threw the contents at me ruining my suit forever. I replied with a tin of my own directed at the front of her skirt. I watched as the material turned black and the oil soaked well in. Calling a halt for a moment I made Rebecca hold up her skirt and petticoats and I slipped her still white lace knickers down her legs a little way before filling them with a large pot of black grease. I then pulled them up tightly and watched as the grease oozed out from the sides. Rebecca then made me hold open the front of my trousers and shorts while she emptied in a whole gallon of red paint before letting me do them up again. I found it a little difficult to move after that as the paint didn’t run away very easily but it didn’t stop me from pouring a tin of blue paint down the cleavage of her dress. Then it was a free for all with paint and oil being thrown everywhere. The highlight for me was a gallon can of black paint which I used to flatten her veil and hairdo before it ran down her face covering her beautiful make-up. When all the materials were used up and we were both completely covered we set about each others clothes with a couple of pairs of scissors until everthing we were wearing was in tiny pieces. We were both exhausted as we tried to get as much off each other as possible before washing each other down in the shower armed with lots of cleaners which took some time and quite a few showers! We retired to bed completely knackered and only woke up briefly for an evening snack.
When I woke the next morning Rebecca was already up and I got dressed and went downstairs to find Rebecca in the kitchen dressed in a crisp white tennis outfit. She kissed me good morning and told me to sit down at the table which I did. I should have known what was coming but it was still a shock when a huge tub of warm porridge was tipped over my head completely engulfing me. A second and a third followed before Rebecca sat astride me and told me she wanted me to give her a seeing to with my tongue. With that she lay back on the table with her legs spread so I made sure I covered her with a lot of the porridge before I started to rub it well in. I moved slowly down the body, pulling up her t-shirt to expose her tits which she took over rubbing as I moved on down. When I reach my goal I tore a hole in her knickers allowing me to stick my tongue in and with the taste of the porridge mingling with her juices I licked her until she screamed, and then a little more.