Master of WAM

I’m absolutely stunned: Valentalae of FetLife and Twitter has written a filksong about me! And now I’m hearing talk that someone wants to record it? Whoa.

It’s to the tune of Rupert Holmes’s “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” and the original post is on her blog. I’m re-posting it with permission:

“I got done with my homework,
And started browsing porn.
But the cumshots and orgies,
Just didn’t work anymore.
Then I found this guy’s website,
And it was like a dream.
All these gorgeous models,
Covered in whipped cream.

“His name is Shokolada,
He’s the master of WAM.
He’ll make you sit in a sheet cake.
And put your ass in the can.
If you like getting into pie fights,
And having buckets of fun.
If you’re ready for a good time,
Shokolada’s the one.

“I was so very horny,
I know it sounds kinda weird.
But chocolate icing looks sexy,
On a girl when it’s glopped and splattered and smeared.
I subscribed to the website.
And bought some videos.
Entertained myself for hours,
Watching the flavor flow.

“His name is Shokolada,
He’s the master of WAM.
Pouring pudding down your T-shirt,
Then he’ll turn on the cam.
If you like sticky situations,
It’s as easy as pie.
If ya wanna get messy,
Shokolada’s your guy.

“Finally met him in person,
Couldn’t pass up the chance.
We didn’t have a pie fight,
But he put some pastries down my pants.
It was the best scene ever.
Almost better than sex.
But what I think’s even better,
He doesn’t know it, but he’s next.

“His name is Shokolada,
He’s the master of WAM,
If you want just desserts,
He can give you a hand.
If you’re bored with vanilla,
Tell your husband or wife.
Call my friend Shokolada,
And make a mess of your life!”