MarsCon: Erotic Fairy Tale Rewrite

The first “Adult Track” panel on Friday night at MarsCon consisted of the assembled writers each being told to pick a fairy tale. The audience gave each of us four elements to incorporate into an erotic re-write of the fairy tale, and they played MadLibs with the host while were were given about 30 minutes to perform our revision. Perhaps mine’s a little silly, but one should expect that from me!

Without any editing, this is what my flickering fingers produced on my tablet in that half-hour.

The Tale: Hansel and Gretel

The New Elements: Dominatrix – Interrupting people in the act – In the bathroom – A candy cane

The Story: One day, Hansel and Gretel (totally legally-aged for the purposes of this story) were out in the woods with their stepmother. It was a hot, muggy day, and soon they found themselves drowsy, so their stepmother suggested they all lie down in a clearing for a nap.

But they did not know their stepmother was an eeeevil stepmother, and she had left them while they slept. They woke to find it dark, gloomy, and foggy, and soon found themselves lost.

They wandered for hours; hungry, and lonely, and badly in need of a bathroom. So it came as some surprise when they stumbled upon another clearing, in the midst of which was a gingerbread outhouse.

“Thank goodness!” Hansel cried! “Two of our problems solved at once!”

“You worry me,” Gretel said. “But at the very least we can relieve ourselves.”

They flung the door open to find a tall whip-wielding woman standing inside, dressed in clothes made of fruit leather, with trim of licorice and cotton candy. Bent forward over the thankfully-clean seat was their stepmother, naked as her first day, and with her rear striped with red welts. “What are you doing here, you brats?” she screamed.

“Just looking for something to eat!” cried Hansel.

“And a potty!” cried Gretel.

“I’ll give you something to eat,” said the sugar-coated dominatrix. With a snap, she cuffed their stepmother to the doorknob and dragged Hansel forward. She spread her legs and pulled Hansel’s face into her crotch, where she ordered him to chew a hole through her fruit leather. Reluctantly at first, he tasted her offered dessert, becoming more and more enthusiastic about the job. With a free hand, she dragged Gretel over to feast on her cotton-candy-covered-chest. Gretel turned out to be a remarkable eager licker, and soon the strange woman was moaning over the sibling’s attentions.

Soon, Hansel had worked completely through the tasty fabric, and had found more sweets to lick, including a small candy button he was especially enjoy. The woman ran her fingers through his hair, gripping it painfully from time to time as she directed him so a specific part of the menu. The stepmother glared at them as she pumped her hips into his face, and he showed no sign of minding very much.

A little higher up the woman’s body, Gretel had consumed an entire day at the fair’s worth of cotton candy, but still found plenty of sugary traces across her bosom. Almost obsessed, she lifted a breast up to lick and tease every last bit of sweetness from a nipple, then proceeded across to repeat the process on the other side, drawing moans to harmonize with the gasps produced by her brother.

Hansel and Gretel found themselves bewitched by the woman’s sweet demands, and after several joyous minutes, she shrieked her pleasure. “Well done, youngsters; I’ve been looking for some new faces in the dungeon. I can promise to feed appetites you didn’t know you had.” Taking their hands, she began to leave the gingerbread outhouse.

“What about me?” the stepmother shrieked.

“Seriously, what kind of bitch leaves her kids stranded in the forest? I’m sure you can chew yourself free soon enough. Come along, youngsters.”

Bewildered, Gretel looked up at the woman. “What’s your name, ma’am?”

“I’m Candy. Candy Cane.”