I wear my hair long sometimes, and I have nice legs (according to some); so when I’m crossdressing, from the back I can still sometimes pass as a woman. Then of course I turn around to display the beard and lack of tits, and the brief illusion dissipates. Nevertheless it lasted long enough that while maided up at Katsucon, a young lady called out to me, “Hey, trap! Over here!”
She meant it as a compliment, it was clear. But as of today, I’m done with cutting folks slack on that one; it’s simply offensive. “Trap” is stuffed full of assumptions and entitlement, so even if you didn’t mean it negatively, you need to stop using it.
This may come as a surprise to some folks, but rarely is a crossdresser an evil homosexual carefully laying snares to trick unsuspecting straights into sexual encounters out of Rocky Horror. (As lots of people know, the average crossdresser is straight, but you can’t tell a homophobe that.) We don’t want to trick you in to have sex with us. Are you projecting? Would you trick us into having sex with you if we were female and you could?
Furthermore, just because you see someone pretty across the room and get a little excited, that means nothing. Perhaps they are gay, but not for your gender. Perhaps they aren’t especially sexual at all, or aren’t right now. Perhaps they are absolutely interested in your gender, but not in your politics / food choices / fandoms / lack of bathing habits. I’m no trap for you, buddy. I have no interest in you in the first place, no matter how you may tell yourself otherwise.
Trust me: if I’m going to trap someone, it won’t be with crossdressing; it’ll be with pallet wrap or big trash bags, and pre-negotiated! Until then, if I say, “It’s a trap!” it’s almost certainly me Admiral Ackbar imitation. And if you want to say something nice about my looks, please do; just find a nicer word to use!