MarsCon: Erotic Fairy Tale Rewrite

The first “Adult Track” panel on Friday night at MarsCon consisted of the assembled writers each being told to pick a fairy tale. The audience gave each of us four elements to incorporate into an erotic re-write of the fairy tale, and they played MadLibs with the host while were were given about 30 minutes to perform our revision. Perhaps mine’s a little silly, but one should expect that from me!

Without any editing, this is what my flickering fingers produced on my tablet in that half-hour.

The Tale: Hansel and Gretel

The New Elements: Dominatrix – Interrupting people in the act – In the bathroom – A candy cane

The Story: One day, Hansel and Gretel (totally legally-aged for the purposes of this story) were out in the woods with their stepmother. It was a hot, muggy day, and soon they found themselves drowsy, so their stepmother suggested they all lie down in a clearing for a nap.

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PieWorks 2013 DVD Release

Five DVD cases displaying the "PieWorks 2013" cover art.

Obviously, I work almost exclusively in digital media, which is to say YouTube views and Internet downloads. However, once in a while for special events, I’ll produce DVD copies of some of our work for sale or giveaway.

This recent weekend, I appeared at MarsCon in Williamsburg, VA to appear on their erotica and adult panels (and separately to do a comedy performance on stage) and thought I’d bring along some samples of my work for sale and signing.

I have to say, I took enormous satisfaction from holding physical evidence of all our hard work in my hands. Digital media is wonderful, but sometimes it’s missing a certain tangibility.

Can’t wait to make these DVDs completely out of date with new shoots this year!

Harassment

Whether it be a fan con or a lifestyle event, from this day forward I will do everything in my power to make sure that every convention with which I am involved has an anti-harassment policy in place, well-publicized, and enforced. For decades, I have been under the impression that fans and kinky people were better than the everyday rank-and-file, and we didn’t do that crap. Over the last few years, I’ve had this mistaken impression corrected.

Today, someone actually said directly to me, “Cons don’t need anti-harassment policies because the women are always lying anyway.” And that does it. I don’t want my life polluted by these kinds of people, much less the lives of my friends. I can’t fix it myself, but I can be one more drop of water in the inevitable erosion of this mountain of idiocy. So yeah, I’ll be checking.

And I can name two events off the top of my head that have beat me to the punch: Intervention in fandom, and Debauchery in kink. Since day one, neither event has been willing to put up with harassment against gender identity, skin color, or any similar method the greyfaces use to try to split us up. These conventions aren’t the only ones willing to stand up for their attendees, and more are joining the tide.

I hope anyone who reads this is with me. Eventually, we’ll reduce these fucktards to the impotent, whining fraction they should be.

Agents of S.H.O.K.O.L.A.D.A.

A Twitter conversation…

[friend]: Awesome thing I forgot to mention earlier: I finally have an official dotgov.gov domain registration account 😀

[me]: I’m guessing I can’t bribe you to register “shokolada.gov” for me, though. 😛

[friend]: *giggles* Not really, unless you can come up with some official-y agency or program acronym that matches 😛

[me]: Got it!

Supreme – Headquarters – Of – Kink – Oriented – Liquid – And – Dessert – Applications … dot gov.

So, who out there wants to be special agents for the Flying Pie Monster?

More Debauchery Early Birds!

Just a quick note to let folks know that Debauchery is extending Early Bird registration pricing through Sunday, because they’d love to relieve you of some of that heavy tax return money 🙂

It’s $75 for a weekend of amazing presenters, great parties, a cool play space, and a friendly, perverted environment! Oh, yeah, and I’ll be teaching my newest class, and almost certainly taking advantage of their messyplay space 🙂

You should come! It’ll be excellent!

Pi(e) Day 2013

Visitors here probably know this already, but “pi” (the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter) is approximately 3.14, which is close to the way Americans often write March 14th (3/14).

So, geeks have been declaring March 14th as Pi Day for the last several years, and celebrating with tasty confection. As geeks and pie-throwing fans, how could we here at Shokolada’s Mess and PieWorks not approve?

We approve so much, in fact, that we’ve put together a little celebratory video. (Okay, so this was a little late because of some last-minute plans and because editing, rendering, and posting video is sllooowwww. It’s still Pi Day somewhere.)

So Happy Pi(e) Day from all of us to all of you!

Debauchery 2012 messy demo

Did you know I’ve been officially announced as a presenter for Debauchery 2013, a pansexual, sex-positive, educational event in Greensboro, NC? Well, I have, and I’m going to be presenting my class on Discordianism and Kink for the first time there.  I’m looking forward to it: the organizers and staff are wonderful folk, and I’ve had an incredible time there in the past.

How good a time? Well, let me show you some sample of what we got up to last year, in my Messy Dessert Play class:

The organizers set up an large cube of PVC pipe and plastic sheeting with one side open called the “Dexter Room”, where things that might get a bit messy could happen, and we did our best to give it a proper shakedown.

Despite some minor confusion over a schedule change, the class / demo was packed to standing room only, which I find gives the demo a wonderful energy. Of course I started with a discussion of the whys and wherefores, tips, tricks, techniques, and safety, but we moved as soon as possible to the practical demonstration. Mistress Messiér of the PieWorks video “Indiscretion” and Maya Kralovna volunteered, and with a pair of trashbag outfits and some minor guidance on my part, they went at it like pros.

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Catalyst Latex Sailor Scouts

Sailor Mars costume in latex by Catalyst

“Be your own alternative anime babe in a Sailor Scout outfit made completely from your favourite material!
Each set contains: ♥ Opera sleeves ♥ Choker with appliqué detailing ♥ Cap sleeve T-shirt with Sailor collar and large bow. ♥ Circle skirt with large back bow detailing.”

My cosplayer side is in serious need of this latex Sailor Mars outfit from Catalyst. I promise to take good care of it and feed it regularly. The down side? With custom sizing (always get custom sizing in your latex if you can) it runs £205, which is around $300 with today’s exchange rate. So, it will have to go on the list. But that’s okay.

Besides, this gives me time to do a little exercise and trim up a bit. Latex outfits appreciate that!

Another Bag In The Pile

— by Shokolada —

It was dark in here, really dark. My eyes were covered twice over and the lights would be off anyway – it’s rare these days to be swallowed up by that much black. Thankfully it didn’t smell bad in here… most of what I could smell was my own body, and that’s not unpleasant at all. All I could taste is the gag, and all I could feel is slick plastic: that, I felt everywhere. That, and nothing else. Very little to hear either, except some household utility mechanism doing its 24/7 thing. Honestly, the whole experience is usually pretty restful.

Suddenly I could hear muffled voices approaching, two of them and I knew Pam was up to her old tricks. Not a hell of a lot I could do about it at this point, though it would be interesting to see how this played out.

Abruptly, dim light filtered through the plastic over my face as the lid of the large bin in the utility room creaked open, and my girlfriend’s voice became suddenly clear from a dim shadow as she said, “Just toss the bags in there.” Three large plastic bags of dry trash landed among the others surrounding me, but the last one bounced off my stomach, and I grunted loudly.

“Holy crap, is there someone in there?” said another voice, almost certainly one of Pam’s ‘very close’ lady friends. “When you said you’d dumped your boyfriend, I thought that meant you’d gotten rid of him!”

“Well, I did! But if he’s very very good, I’ll take him back eventually. Took a hand truck to get his bagged butt into the bin, but I’ve had practice.”

“My god… it’s like he’s just another one of the bags of trash in there. How did you get him in that bag? How does he breathe?”

“Oh, he’s got a couple air holes. It’s a big 55-gallon contractor bag, after I tied him up and gagged him, I just slipped him cross-legged into it and zip-tied the top. The great thing is that I still had access to the remaining useful bits.” Pam shoved aside the bag that had been sitting on me, and began fondling my crotch through the plastic. She knew just how to touch me, and I moaned past the gag.

“Useful – you fuck him in there?” her friend asked, still amazed.

“Sure. Wanna see?”

“What, watch you fuck your dumped boyfriend in the trash bin?”

“No, silly.”

“Okay, wow.”

“I meant you should fuck him in there.”

“ARE YOU KID- Ummph.” I heard some wet sounds, and easily imagined Pam’s mouth lustily on her friend’s. Pam had boundaries, but that wasn’t one of them.

“C’mon, let me help get that off of you.”

“Oh gosh.” Now I heard clothes rustling. “I must be drunk or something. Did we have wine tonight that I don’t remember? ‘Cause I don’t remember both of us being naked on the plans for tonight.”

Hands tore a small hole over my stiffening dick and pulled it out of my plastic prison. “Wanna put this on there for me?” And then I felt a condom being rolled onto me.

“I gotta admit, that’s a nice cock…”

“He’s always biggest and hardest when I do this to him. Probably why he ends up dumped so often. Here, let me help you climb in…”

I heard and felt Pam’s friend bumping against the sides of the box, and then the rustle of the filled bags as she stepped among them. I felt her weight settle down on top of me, and the spike of incredible pleasure as her hand guided me in.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she said as she started riding me, her movements imitating her swearing. She felt incredibly good around me, but trapped as I was I could not fondle or guide her, only buck up against her. It seemed to take no time at all before the bin bumped and wiggled again as Pam joined us in it. “Hey – what are you up to now?”

“I’m not here to watch,” Pam said in a voice dripping with evil glee. “I’m here to play too.” And her fingers tore another hole, this one directly over my mouth. Through the hole, she worked the gag loose and under my chin, then before I could even consider words, covered the hole with her crotch. I wasn’t really thinking of complaining just then; instead my tongue immediately sought out all the spots I knew would thrill her.

One lady bounced on my crotch, while the other ground against my mouth. All I could do was wiggle against them, with my arms and legs useless and my body cocooned in shiny black. I knew I’d be sore tomorrow and didn’t give a moment’s damn as we all rocked and writhed in the middle of that glossy plastic pile, rustling and creaking, moaning and gasping. I sensed the shadow atop my head lean forward, and Pam’s friend sighed with what must have been attention from Pam’s talented fingers. I could hear more kissing sounds.

“This – is fucking – crazy,” Pam’s friend gasped. “I must be – fucking crazy! But I think I’m going to fucking come!”

Pam pressed harder against my face, making it very hard to get air around the plastic. “That’s what I want to hear! Put this bag of trash to good use!”

Pam’s friend leaned forward, grabbed the sides of my chest through the bag, and grunted loudly. On the last grunt, she clenched hard on my cock, triggering off my orgasm; I screamed into Pam’s pussy, which set her off as well. After we were all done moaning and shaking, both ladies dropped off of me into the pile, within cuddle reach of each other.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Pam’s friend said as she caught her breath. “I’m not complaining, mind you… but this is totally freaky.”

“Freaky’s the best,” Pam replied. “Besides, what better way to brag about my boyfriend’s cock?”

“Ha!” her friend said, then began extracting herself from the pile of black bags. “Well, either way, I need a shower, and my clothes. Oh – but what about him?”

“Oh! Thanks for reminding me,” Pam replied. She reached into the hole over my mouth, and slipped the gag back into place. I hadn’t managed to say a word yet. She climbed out, following her friend. “Gotta keep things nice and quiet in the trash.” The lid creaked shut, and once again it was dark, and quiet, and slick, and a bit sweatier.

Being dumped is awesome.

Steampunk and Pie

When I have some money lying around for a Steam videogame purchase or two, I may need to pick this up and try it. Really, it’s the music that’s selling this one. And pie!

Though on the other hand, I am a little sorry the trailer’s through Machinima.com, since thanks to them we may never see any more Freeman’s Mind (the story of what was really going through Gordon Freeman’s head while he broke the fabric of reality and fought headcrabs). Bleh.

Anyway, we’ll see if the game’s any good. It sure looks fun.