When puberty grabbed me by the throat, I developed two fetishes in short order: one was the sight and feel of plastic, PVC, and latex clothing, and the more powerful kink of dessert mess. I wanted to see yummy folk get covered in cream pies, buckets of cake batter, and waves of pudding. Then, one day, I found Rob Blaine’s catalogue of videos with girls getting pied and gooped and realized to my shock that other people got aroused by this too!

It wasn’t long until the Internet arrived, and I found more of my fellow splosh fans – especially on the old alt.sex.wet-and-messy Usenet group – but there wasn’t a good website for stories of pie and dessert mess. However, a few fans of mudlarking, wetlook, and Hollywood quicksand had created the WAMSAT web server, and graciously offered me space; thus was born the original Shokolada’s Mess, a simple HTML page listing a collection of messy stories by myself and others.

When that page appeared, I started hearing from my fellow kinksters all over the globe, and I knew then I had something to say to the world: Sex is good. Kinky sex is good. And sometimes, the best kinky sex can be pretty darn silly! And I haven’t stopped spreading that message since.

Shokolada’s Mess grew and evolved. I added dozens of stories, some pictures, and even a movie clip or two. Eventually, the WAMSAT folded, and the Mess got its own host. Soon, I was using a complicated export system to generate the site from a database, and even then the complexities mounted. Finally, I bit the bullet and moved the site to WordPress, as you see it now.

Over the years, I’ve appeared at kink events, private group demos, and science fiction conventions to talk about polyamory, erotica, crossdressing, costuming, plastic, and pies. Every single time someone comes up to me after the class, or emails me afterwards to tell me I’ve opened their mind a bit, or helped them talk to a partner about their desires, it makes every bit of effort worthwhile, and ensure I’m going to keep doing it.

What else? Well, if you haven’t guessed from the costumes and various blog posts, I’m a hardcore geek. I work on computers for a living. I can tell you more than you want to know about the Enterprise’s warp drive systems. I paint and game with Battletech figures. I find Monty Python quotes hilarious. I thought once this was an unusual overlap, but the more geeky kinksters – or kinky geeksters – I meet, the more I suspect it’s incredibly common. I even present a class on that as well.

If you’d like to know more about me, I’m active on FetLife, Twitter, and LiveJournal, all under the same name. If I’m at the same event you’re attending, don’t be afraid to come up and say hi! I don’t bite, unless by previous negotiation! I’m very proud of the messy slapstick videos I’ve been making for PieWorks: check out the trailers, and feel free to make purchases. The more I sell, the more of them I can make!

As for my name… well, back in the AOL days, I needed something better than KinkyGuy7214, something that would relate to my kink. I grabbed a nearby book, and there it was:

Again she appeared as a two-gun woman, with each of her companions covered. This time she handed them over, one to each. “Have one, they’re good” – and peeled the foil off a third, a candy bar molded to look like a purse weapon. “Crunchy, but mostly shokolada. ‘Chocolate’? Mostly chocolate.”
– Robert A. Heinlein, The Number of The Beast…

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