Bawdy Slapstick at Intervention

I’ve been holding on to this until I could formally announce it, but it’s official: I will be at Intervention 2015 in Washington DC, presenting a panel on “Bawdy Slapstick on a Budget” – or how to get into naughty indie video production and distribution in the Internet Age!

I’ll be showing some samples of my work and taking questions, all with the aim of getting you budding filmmakers and video stars out there and doing what we love when there’s not a lot of cash in the bank.

Intervention is an awesome 3 day conference for people who enjoy learning amazing things and collaborating with other motivated people on a wide variety of projects targeted at the Internet generation. Check it out at https://interventioncon.com!

August 14-16, 2015
Hilton Washington DC/Rockville
1750 Rockville Pike, Rockville, Maryland 20852

Song Parody – “Lick It Off!”

Because you asked for it! Some of you, anyway. Yes, this would make for a great PieWorks video… just need a model who can sing!

—–

Lick It Off!

I really must confess
My life it’s just a mess
But that’s the way it goes, mm-hm
That’s the way it goes
I got way too much distress
Always doing more with less
Well that’s the way it goes, mm-hm
That’s the way it goes

But when we’re playing
My friends and I displaying
Desserts and fashion crashing
Across our bods ‘cause we’re having us a real good time

‘Cause the pie-ers gonna pie-pie-pie-pie-pie
and the pudding’s gonna fly-fly-fly-fly-fly
it’s a gooey silly high-high-high-high-high
Lick It Off!
Cake batter we will buy-buy-buy-buy-buy
Lay the dropcloths in two ply-ply-ply-ply-ply
And we know exactly why-why-why-why-why
We Lick It Off! Lick It Off!

We never miss a chance
For this tasty kinda dance
Now don’t they wish they dared, oh yeah
Don’t they wish they dared?
It’s never a mistake
When we sit down in a cake
They’ll never know our fun, oh no
They’ll never know our fun

But when we’re playing
My friends and I displaying
Desserts and fashion crashing
Across our bods ‘cause we’re having us a real good time

‘Cause the pie-ers gonna pie-pie-pie-pie-pie
and the pudding’s gonna fly-fly-fly-fly-fly
it’s a gooey silly high-high-high-high-high
Lick It Off!
Cake batter we will buy-buy-buy-buy-buy
Lay the dropcloths in two ply-ply-ply-ply-ply
And we know exactly why-why-why-why-why
We Lick It Off! Lick It Off!

Woo-hoo-hoo!
No, we’re not having a bake sale or a church picnic, folks
Just some dirty dirty good clean fun
Our hits bounce to the sweetest beats out there

All my friends love our mess mayhem
They’re like, “Oh, my God!”
When I begin to lick
Hey the clean one over there with the untouched hair
Won’t you try a little pie? We could lick lick lick

‘Cause the pie-ers gonna pie-pie-pie-pie-pie
and the pudding’s gonna fly-fly-fly-fly-fly
it’s a gooey silly high-high-high-high-high
Lick It Off!
Cake batter we will buy-buy-buy-buy-buy
Lay the dropcloths in two ply-ply-ply-ply-ply
And we know exactly why-why-why-why-why
We Lick It Off! Lick It Off!

Lick It Off!
Lick It Off!
Lick It Off!
Lick It Off!

It’s Not A Trap!

I wear my hair long sometimes, and I have nice legs (according to some); so when I’m crossdressing, from the back I can still sometimes pass as a woman. Then of course I turn around to display the beard and lack of tits, and the brief illusion dissipates. Nevertheless it lasted long enough that while maided up at Katsucon, a young lady called out to me, “Hey, trap! Over here!”

She meant it as a compliment, it was clear. But as of today, I’m done with cutting folks slack on that one; it’s simply offensive. “Trap” is stuffed full of assumptions and entitlement, so even if you didn’t mean it negatively, you need to stop using it.

This may come as a surprise to some folks, but rarely is a crossdresser an evil homosexual carefully laying snares to trick unsuspecting straights into sexual encounters out of Rocky Horror. (As lots of people know, the average crossdresser is straight, but you can’t tell a homophobe that.) We don’t want to trick you in to have sex with us. Are you projecting? Would you trick us into having sex with you if we were female and you could?

Furthermore, just because you see someone pretty across the room and get a little excited, that means nothing. Perhaps they are gay, but not for your gender. Perhaps they aren’t especially sexual at all, or aren’t right now. Perhaps they are absolutely interested in your gender, but not in your politics / food choices / fandoms / lack of bathing habits. I’m no trap for you, buddy. I have no interest in you in the first place, no matter how you may tell yourself otherwise.

Trust me: if I’m going to trap someone, it won’t be with crossdressing; it’ll be with pallet wrap or big trash bags, and pre-negotiated! Until then, if I say, “It’s a trap!” it’s almost certainly me Admiral Ackbar imitation. And if you want to say something nice about my looks, please do; just find a nicer word to use!

Fuck Depression

Depression lies.

Depression kills.

Depression nearly took me a few years ago, but I had friends who got to me in time. But it got Robin Williams today, and to hell with it.

To quote a friend: If you’re hurting, if you’re sad, if you need help – please, please, please find what you need. There are so many places and so many people willing to listen and to help.

There is no shame in asking for help.

There is no shame in asking for help.

The world is so much better with you in it. Don’t let depression win.

You’re not alone.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 is a place to start. There are many others.

Ask For Help. Please.

Staging an Intervention

Next month, I’m going to an Intervention. You should too, and bring your friends!

Intervention, now in its fifth year, bills itself as “The Premier Showcase of Online Creativitry: Blogs, Videos, Podcasts, and Makers”. That’s pretty accurate from what I’ve seen, and I’ve been going for the last three years. From a distance, it looks a lot like many other sci-fi and fantasy cons, but you aren’t likely to find big media stars here signing autographs. At Intervention, you have folks like you and me who are building their own legend from the ground up, and would love to invite you to enjoy the process!

“So, Shok,” you ask, “you’re a known Internet kinkster. Why are you recommending this event? Are there special late-night panels? Hallways full of revealing cosplay? Workshops on making your own bawdy videos?”

Intervention has none of the above, I’ll tell you now. (Though I’m ready to do the last one if the chairperson ever likes the idea.) Oh, they’ve had some great burlesque shows, adult-only art jams, and I’m sure the occasional Cards Against Humanity game; but this con isn’t about kink at all. What this con is about is expressing yourself creatively, in art, music, writing, costume, or any other medium. As the doors of the mainstream open wider and wider to take curious looks at us, and as we look for ways to say the things we want to say to the world, the lessons and connections to be found at this event are invaluable. Plus it’s a lot of fun!

In addition, let me quote from their Harassment Policy: “Intervention is dedicated to providing a harassment-free convention experience for everyone regardless of gender, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, body size, race, religion, choice of CMS platform, or operating system. We do not tolerate harassment of convention participants in any form. Convention participants violating these rules may be sanctioned or expelled from the convention without a refund at the discretion of the convention organizers.” Intervention is DEAD SERIOUS about this, which is a perfect reason to go right there. This is a place where you can be you, and that’s more imprtant than ever.

Take a look at their website: they’ve got many amazing things to offer. Come and meet Stormygoddess and me and say hi; and tell Oni you’d really like to see that late-night panel on making bawdy slapstick video!

Cartoon Ponies and Kink

I enjoy the new My Little Pony cartoon series. It’s pleasant, generally well-written fluff and has even managed to sell me a toy or two, which is obviously its reason to be. My girlfriend and I have even cosplayed “Equestria Girls”, the magically-transformed human version of the Ponies.

But since I do have a crowded, interesting life, I’m still watching my way through the 2012 season. When an episode showed Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie dressed in vinyl catsuits (ponysuits?) for a heist, I gleefully tweeted about PVC ponies – the implication being that I wouldn’t mind seeing Stormygoddess pink-wigged in that getup!

Shokolada: “Okay, I just saw a My Little Pony episode that IN CANON has Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie running around in black PVC catsuits. 😀 😀 :D”

Pleased with the thought, I went to bed. When I woke up this morning, this surprise waited for me:

[Name Withheld]: “@shokolada I can’t understand why people say that adult My Little Pony fans are creepy.”

Now, perhaps I read too much into that; it’s easy to do on the Internet. But it sure read as though he called me a creep for writing that post: a post which to me clearly talked about outfits I enjoy seeing a real person in.

I didn’t specify, that’s true. But I refuse to preface every single 140-character Tweet with disclaimers. The population of people who want somehow to have sex with cartoon ponies is absolutely smaller than the population of people who want to have sex with other humans (often dressed provocatively). The default assumption should be that I meant that.

Role-playing provides vital creative and expressive tools to a healthy mind and lifestyle; the bedroom’s no exception. Costumes and props for sexual role-play fill sex stores, and the situations implied would often in real life be unethical at best. Nurses, maids, cheerleaders: the list is long. (Long, and too focused on the fantasies of males, but I have hopes along those lines.)

Anime fans know too well about Japan’s tendency to sexualize underage women. If I see an anime film that portrays a thirteen-year-old in a sexual situation, I’m going to be pretty unhappy about it. But if I see a grown woman at a con wearing that sexualized outfit? Well, rowr! (A polite rowr, for sure.) And it makes a huge difference! An idle bedroom fantasy about a compatible consenting adult doesn’t compare to one about an underage sex object. (Just… ew.)

And here we have my answer to the folks that say ageplay, as a specific kink, is pedophilia. A person who consistently fantasizes about having sex with a toddler has serious problems; a person who attempts to bring those fantasies to life has far worse problems, and the social and legal consequences are completely appropriate. But if you want to dress as toddlers with a consenting adult: well, knock yourself out! It’s a great opportunity to make sex silly, and we sure as heck take our sex rather too seriously these days.

Perhaps modern entertainment culture leaves viewers ill-equipped to tell the difference between a role and the people playing it. How many times have people been confused when an actor is nothing like their most famous role – or worse, becomes famous a second time for a role completely unlike the part they previously played? How many furious rants have been posted to the Internet when an author dares to take characters in an unexpected direction? Maybe someone’s created a class these folks can take, but in the meantime, I can close this in the confidence that if there’s a creep here, it’s not me. Now if you’ll excuse me, Stormygoddess and I have to settle on which one of us is wearing a maid’s dress tonight…

 

Kinking It Up at Anime Mid-Atlantic 2014

Just passed a lovely weekend with my sweetie (“Hello, sweetie”) at Anime Mid-Atlantic 2014. Like many an anime con, AMA is a delightful place to be a respectful perv: I especially recall the rear of a lady in a spandex Evangelion plugsuit, the few scraps of black vinyl retaining the modesty of a lady wearing Ryuko’s Battle Mode Senketsu, and a girlfriend who encouraged me to look so I’d later pounce her that much more energetically.

On top of that, I spent the whole weekend in either a cheerleader outfit (from “Lucky*Star”) or a Japanese schoolgirl “fuku” (from “Kill la Kill”). Not only was I not mocked or shamed, but folks eagerly requested my picture, hugs, and fist-bumps all con. We even did lunch in costume, confirming my premise that all you need is a relaxed confident attitude for folks to react very positively.

Also, Stormy’s birthday fell on this weekend, and a cake was duly sacrificed. Very little of it got eaten… at least from plates. Thank goodness the pink icing didn’t stain as much as it briefly looked like it would. And of course, when a PVC maid dress has irreparable damage, you can’t give it a better send-off than a coating of icing and crushed cake!

I hope your weekend was a blast too!

TIED: All Wrapped Up and In the Bag

June 10th, I did my Plastic Encasement demo for TIED. Years ago when I originally moved out to Hampton Roads, I found the TIED folks and finally began my journey into BSDM as it’s practiced in real life as opposed to in Internet wank-fantasies. (There’s something to be said for many such fantasies, but it’s a mistake to take them as a template for reality.) So, I have a special place in my heart for this bunch.

So, after a brief introduction and a little audience interaction, I started things off by pallet-wrapping one of the demo bottoms. She’d been wrapped before, and much of the audience was already familiar with such scenes, but everyone seemed to enjoy it anyway. I answered some questions and acknowledge some thoughts, and fondled (consensually) her a bit for good measure through the thin layers.

I think the audience found the second segment a bit more novel. After stripping away the red plastic, I slipped her into a trash bag tunic (prepared ahead of time) which I taped tightly between her legs. Then came the trash bag straitjacket, with the neat bows at chin and spine; and finally the 55-gallon bag engulfed our brave demo bottom!

She rustled around a bit, able to see little and move less, while audience members quizzed her about her sensations and me about the practicalities. I have to say, having a willing lady trapped in my bags and openly enjoying the experience made it difficult to remain professional; ah, the trials of a kink educator. Of course, some previously-negotiated plastic groping occurred, purely in the cause of demonstration, I promise. No one in the room had any complaints!

The evening drew on, though, so I reluctantly let her out and demonstrated my latex vac bed with the second demo bottom, and an audience member after that. The bed’s been temperamental lately, so I was relieved that it worked properly and gave both ladies its tightest embrace. (Sure, latex isn’t plastic encasement. No one complained about that either.) and with that, we wrapped up (ha) the evening.

I had a blast, as did the demo bottoms, and I think the audience did too. Thanks again to TIED for inviting me: I relished the chance to say hi to some friends I hadn’t seen in ages. And I relished the opportunity to teach again; I love running my classes, and the last one happened months ago.

Can’t wait for the next time I get to wrap, bag, pie, or gunge someone in (semi-) public!

Wrapped, Bagged, and Packed at TIED

Tuesday night (the 10th) I’ll be at TIED in Chesapeake, VA demonstrating all the fun of plastic encasement play! I’m really looking forward to pulling the pallet wrap and trash bags for the very first group to welcome me when I moved to this area. My SLYX latex vac bed is likely to make an appearance, and I may even bring the Subbie Storage Trash Can if I can find the key to the padlock. (I mean, it would just be awful to be locked in there for ever, right? just awful.)

I’m looking forward to having some fun with my demo bottoms, and with luck encouraging a little audience participation as well! If you’re eligible to attend, I hope you can make it!

Rearranging the Furniture

Ideas for a shoot are cheap: I must have a dozen right now. Even if I leave out the scenarios which are completely impossible due to the laws of physics, lack of winning million-dollar lottery tickets, or risk of physical injury; I’ve still got plenty.

But as the previous sentence implied, even the simpler shoots aren’t cheap, and that’s why the long dry spell since “Indiscretion”. Oh, I could sit a lady in a wading pool, pour slime over her, and move on; but many of my wonderful colleagues are already doing a fine job producing those. The messpians of PieWorks get their kicks putting on a little show!

With all that in mind, I’ve decided to move on. Not from PieWorks, mind you! Improving my own standard of living improves my ability to invest in new productions and bring you the silly shiny mess you’ve come to expect. Besides, I’ve been missing out on too many kink events over the last year. So, it’s new employment time; for this and other good reasons, I’ll be moving around 200 miles as soon as I’ve got a firm offer.

This also gives me the opportunity to move closer to my girlfriend, who’s been invaluable help behind the scenes for a while (and maybe in front of the camera soon). On a note complete free of pervery, I’ll also be closer to my mom: I’m not young, and she’s obviously less so, so this is a Good Thing. Life chaos may stimulate creativity, but a little stability helps us do something with it!

The last few years have been a bumpy ride at best. Here’s to a 2014 with a lot more fun, a lot more film, and a lot more pies!

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