— by PieKitty —
Once upon a time, there was a young woman who lived in a village near the forest. Whenever she went out, she wore a red hooded outfit, so everyone in the village called her Little Red Riding Hood. She also had long red hair, which probably contributed to the nickname.
One morning, Little Red Riding Hood asked her mother if she could go to visit her grandmother as it had been awhile since they’d seen each other.
“That’s a good idea,” her mother said. So they packed a nice basket for Little Red Riding Hood to take to her grandmother, since her grandmother lived in the woods, and didn’t have easy access to a 24 hour grocery store.
When the basket was ready, the young woman put on her red cloak and kissed her mother goodbye.
“Remember, go straight to Grandma’s house,” her mother cautioned. “Don’t dawdle along the way and please don’t talk to strangers! The woods are dangerous.”
“Don’t worry, mommy,” said Little Red Riding Hood, “I’ll be careful.”
But Little Red Riding Hood got distracted in the woods by all manner of wonders of nature, and was enjoying the warm summer day so much, that she didn’t notice a dark shadow approaching out of the forest behind her…
Suddenly, the wolf appeared beside her.
“What are you doing out here, little girl?” the wolf asked in a voice as friendly as he could muster.
“I’m on my way to see my Grandma who lives through the forest, near the brook,” Little Red Riding Hood replied.
Then she realized how late she was and went to excuse herself.
“Not so fast, girly,” said the wolf, taking a long rope from behind his back and tying her to a nearly tree. “I’ve seen how this story normally goes, and I’m not dressing up as your grandma, and I’m certainly not meeting any angry woodsmen. In fact, I’m going to just devour you right here, it’s much easier.”
But, that would make for a very short story, and not the happiest ending ever.
It was just then that the wolf caught the scent of something delicious, and made him forget about eating the girl. He squatted down and lifted the napkins from the top of Little Red Riding Hood’s basket, revealing a
yummy looking creme pie.
The wolf carefully dipped his claw in the generously gooey filling and licked it. “What a lovely creme pie you have,” he exclaimed.
Red Riding Hood looked thoroughly puzzled. This wasn’t quite how the story went, and while the wolf seemed to have forgotten about eating _her_ for a moment, there was something rather non-children’s-story-time
about wriggling helplessly in bondage.
“All the better..” the wolf continued, “.. for smashing in your face!”
With that, the wolf padded right up to Little Red Riding Hood, and proceeded to tug her hood free of her head, and splatter the pie directly into the poor girl’s face!
Little Red Riding Hood gave a muffled squeak of shock before her world went a yellowy shade of cream, banana creme pie filling dripping from her face.
“And what a lovely sticky bottle of maple syrup you have,” the wolf continued, rummaging around in the basket. Little Red Riding Hood was beginning to regret letting her mom pack her basket full of desserts by this point.
“All the better for..” the wolf looked thoughtful for a moment, tapping a clawtip on his chin, then without a care in the world, lifted Little Red Riding Hood’s red pvc skirt and petticoats up, before upending the bottle and squirting the gooey contents.. “filling your panties with!”
Little Red Riding Hood gave a whimper, but as the sticky goodness flooded between her legs, a rather loud moan escaped her lips too.
The wolf flicked his ears in interest, taking a step back and looking at the girl.
“What a conveniently packed bowl of vanilla pudding,” the wolf bemused, why anyone would fill an entire bowl with pudding, then put film over the lid to stop it leaking.
Little Red Riding Hood squirmed more in her ropes, unfortunately the rope was tugged directly below her breasts, and rather emphasized her cleavage, displayed with the short red pvc top she wore.
“All the better for.. well, you can probably guess”, the wolf shrugged, taking the film off the bowl and carefully tilting the pudding so that it dripped and slopped down the inside of her top.
Next, the wolf took two chocolate cheesecakes from the basket. Now, he was quite an intelligent wolf, but even he was having trouble understanding how everything was fitting inside this basket. He got down on all fours and sniffed around the basket for any signs of magic. With a shrug, as he was sure he’d get to the bottom of this all later on, he said “What a nice pair of cheesecakes you have,” and taking one in each paw, splattered the pair of them over Little Red Riding Hood’s rather nice pair, giving a nice rub for
added measure, as the front panel of her dress turned a mushy desserted mess.
Lastly, the wolf took out a pair of ready-made cartons of custard from the basket, because grandma wasn’t very good at making it herself. With more of a playful giggle, than an evil innocent-girl-eating-snarl, the wolf ripped open the carton tops, and one after the other, poured them into Little Red Riding Hood’s pvc hood, which was resting at her back at this point. “What nice yellow sloppy custard,” the wolf added, trying his best to vaguely stick to story-dialogue, “all the better for a nice shower for Little Red Riding Hood.” With that, he tugged her hood back onto her head, the custard coating her hair and face as gravity took over.
Now, despite her rather dessert-coated state, Little Red Riding Hood hadn’t been idle and in her wriggling, she had managed to get the rope free, so at that point, she sprung away, dripping, from the tree and turned on the wolf, hands on hips.
“Should I scream?” She asked him. “I can scream pretty loudly. I’m sure any handily-nearby woodsmen would hear me.”
“I’d err.. really rather you didn’t?” The wolf replied, a little nervously now. Hell hath no fury like a woman gunged, after all.
With that, Little Red Riding Hood knelt gracefully down to get something from the basket.
The wolf blinked in disbelief. “What a.. no, hang on, that’s just crazy. How did _that_ even fit in there!” He found himself looking back at a gunged red pvc clad woman, holding a bucket.
“Finish the line,” said Little Red Riding hood, tapping one red high-heeled foot.
“.. what an ominous looking bucket of green slime you have.”
The wolf shook his head and took a step back towards the exact same tree he’d tied the poor girl to earlier.
“That’s not even food for grandma! What are you doing with that?!”
Little Red Riding Hood quickly took the few steps between them, to face the wolf. “Mommy and I had a feeling from stories in the past that someone might try something like this. So, I came prepared. And, all the better to pour over your head, Mr Wolf!”
With that, Little Red Riding Hood stood on tippy toe and quickly upended the bucket, sending a gushing wave of pale green slime over the wolf’s ears, head, face, chest.
“And to finish off,” Little Red Riding Hood continued, clearly enjoying getting her own back on the hapless wolf, “What a lovely set of three creme pies I have..” The first, she splattered into the wolf’s face and muzzle, then before he could react, the second and third, she sandwiched either side of his face, leaving him a mess of green slime and white pie creme. “..all the better for teaching big, bad wolves a good lesson!”
She stepped back, taking the napkins from the basket, and daintily wiping her fingers clean, which, given what had already happened to her, was probably a fairly futile gesture. But, girls have standards, after all.
The wolf made a show of wiping the mess from his face and spluttering. “You’re.. not going to call any woodsmen now are you?” He asked, a little uncertain.
Little Red Riding Hood cocked her head to the side. “Would you like me to?”
“No, no!” The wolf hastily shook his pied and slimed head from side to side, sending mess in every direction.
“Well then!” Said Little Red Riding Hood haughtily, putting her hands on her hips. “I hope that taught you to not tie up innocent women in the woods! And if you don’t mind, I’ll be on my way to grandma’s house now.”
“But..” the wolf pointed out, “we’ve somewhat used up your basket of goodies.”
“Well, gosh!” Little Red Riding Hood exclaimed. “I didn’t think of that! I can’t just turn up at her house with no goodies.. and,” she looked down at her rather gunged outfit,” looking like this! Grandma is a stickler for neatness!”
There was a moment of silence, before the wolf shrugged one paw outwards. “If you like,” he thought quickly, based on how much his ‘victim’ seemed to have actually enjoyed both being gunged, and getting him back, “there’s a lovely sloppy mud pit nearby in the woods, and some things are so much more fun than eating passing girls..”
Little Red Riding Hood threw up her hands in resignation, before taking her cell phone from her purse and texting grandma. ‘Sorry grandma, I _did_ dawdle in the woods, but I met an unexpected friend, rather than a stranger. Goodies next time I visit!’
With that, the wolf held out a paw and linked arms with Little Red Riding Hood, and off they dripped, into the woods.
1 comments
Oh my good gracious! The humor, the plot twists, the subversion! What an adorable and sexy story. Kudos!