— by Anonymous —
One morning you wake up to find that your entire town has been evacuated and that you are the only person left. At first you are terrified and cannot imagine what has happened. But then you realize all of the empty shops and factories that are now vacant and filled with messy things. Excited, you put on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt.
First you run to the supermarket. You run to the deli section where they sell pre-made fun and begin to pour it on top of you. First you dump the baked beans over your face. Next you throw yourself into the large container of macaroni and cheese. Soon you think the hell with it, you dive right into the deli case. Your body is immersed into wonderfully sticky and warm substances. You roll around in the mess. Coleslaw, pudding, tapioca, macaroni salad, baked beans, pasta, have now covered your entire body. It feels wonderful and you enjoy sliding around covered in the slop. Next you run to the isle where they have canned baking goods. First you open up ten giant cans of cherry filling and pour them on the floor. In front of that you pour vats of bisquick. You get a running start and dive face first into the slop. Your body becomes slick and you slide through. Soon you begin to scoop the mixture down the front of your pants. It feels wonderful and coats the entire inside of your legs.
Next, you cannot believe what you see in front of your eyes. The entire bakery section. In a case you see 100 cakes and pies. You run to them as fast as you can. begin to slam each pie into your face one at a time. First custard, then lemon, and then blueberry. Thick globs of filling drip down your chest. Then you begin to put the cakes down the front of your pants. After shoving down 10 pies, you collapse. Above your head you see a sign that says “Icing machine” You get up to see what it is. The machine is a large box with a conveyor belt leading into it. The machine is made to ice big sheet cakes. You lay down on the belt and push the start button. You start moving through and nothing happens. But then the machine stops and all off a sudden icing is sprayed onto you from every direction. Plastered, you crawl out of the machine. In the next room you see a huge mixer. Inside you see that it is filled with chocolate cake batter. You have an idea. You pull yourself into the giant mixing bin and hit the start button. Chocolate begins to flow all over you and you begin to move around. You grab the mixer and enjoy getting whipped around into this thick, black, oily mess. You crawl out now completely covered in the sludge. Your white shirt is no loger recognizable. Soiled, your heavy clothes cling to your body.
You then leave the grocery store and go accross the street to a car garage. You run into the garage and find tubes hanging from the ceiling. The first one says brake fluid. You hose yourself down with the mixture. It makes your body shiny and you feel wonderful. Next you see a hose labeled oil. You stick the hose down your pants and squeeze it. Soon, it begin to ooze out from your ankles. Then you pants fill up and the thick black sludge begins to flow down to front of your pants. Next you pretend to take a shower with the sludge. You hold the hose over your head and allow the cool sludge to flow down over your face and down your chest. You stand this way for several minutes until your body is covered.
You then try to think about where to go next. You then remember that a new candy factor had opened in you neighborhoos last year. You run quickly to the factory. Inside you enter a long hallway. You go into the first door that says, chocolate covered nuts. You pretend to be a nut (isn’t that hard to do 🙂 ) and dive onto the chocolate coating machine. You are passed under a waterfall of chocolate it slowly oozes on top of your entire body. It feels wonderful and for several minutes you sit under the shower letting the chocolate flow over you.
The next room is titled, “Filled Eggs” When you walk in you see many vats filled with marious substances. The first one is labeled butterscotch. You dive into the brown slop and it engulfs you. Suddenly you realize that it is draing from the bottom and you have to struggle not to get pulled under. You grab on tight and are able to pull, with all your strength, you plastered body out of the vat. Next you see a vat labeled, “strawberry cream” You do not want to dive in again and get sucked down, but you notice that there is a large lever to tip the entire kettle, for cleaning purposes. You position yourself in front of the vat and pull the lever. The vat slowly turns and suddenly you are ambushed with the gooey filling. It knocks you over and the strawberry filling flows over your body. When it stops you are plastered. You think, “Hey, I like my town a lot better this way”
