— by Argus —
Hi gang.
I wrote the following in a hurry to send off to my gf in order to cheer her up after a stressful day. As it turns out, it may lead to a good story.
I post it here for fun *and* for comments & criticism (constructive, please).
My gf loved it; a WAMmer friend read it and also got a good laugh out of it.
(This is seriously incomplete, but what the heck… its a fun read anyway).
——
She looked into my cabinet and said “How on earth did you know I was in a pie mood?” I said “I didn’t!!”
She said “Oh my.. wellll, I could really use a pie-in-the-face. Its been a tough week.”
“That can be arranged!! Get out of those clothes, you sexy woman you!”
“Yes sir!!” and she was naked so fast it was a miracle of physics.
I was out of mine in a hurry too, and very excited.
She backed up against the wall, stuck her chest out, moved the hair away from her face and said “Those better be chocolate cream!!”
“And what else is there??”
“Oh, you are good! Ok, now I’m ready! Yay!”
I grabbed a nice big chocolate cream pie, which was chocolate pudding, warm and gooey, topped with really good vanilla whipped cream, on a paper plate.
She said “Oh, wow, *that* looks good! You are the best! I can hardly wait for this one!”
“One?? I have eight of them!!”
“Eight???? Of those???? All for me?? I’m gonna be covered!!!” she smiled.
“Oh boy will you!!”
“Oh, yeah!! I can hardly wait! A good old fashioned pie-in-the-face! Mmmm!!”
“Ready?”
“Ok, I’m ready!! I can hardly wait!”
“I love to just pie you actually”
“Well, I love a good pie. Ok, so, hit me. In the face. Right here!”
I was ready to throw and she said “Wait!”
“What?”
“I just want to tell you how much I want that pie. I mean, It feels so good. Make sure you get me really good”
“Ok!! Ready?
“Ready!!”
Again I was gonna throw when:
“Wait! Are all 8 for my face? I mean you’re gonna give me 8 pies in the face??”
“Well, yeah!!”
“Ok, well, pie my boobs too! Don’t wanna leave them out! I am really in the mood for a matching cream-pie bikini. I mean, I’m naked. Might as well take advantage of it!!”
I smiled. She knew she was driving me wild with this talk!!!
“Oh, and one more thing!” she said.
“Yes?”
“Make sure my nipples get extra cream. That feels good!”
Now *I* was gonna melt!!
She said “Ok, pie me.”
“You want this pie?”
“I want all those pies!!”
“Ok, here we go”
“Mmmm, I am in such a pie-in-the-face mood. I love the way you plaster me with creamy dessert. It tastes as divine as it feels!!”
“Ahem!!”
“Ok ok ok!! Let me have it. I want that pie. That one right there! Yep, thats the one. I request that pie. Pie-in-the-face.”
I snapped. I launched pie after pie, hitting her from top to bottom until she was a giggling mass of chocolate and cream. She squealed and slid over to me and embraced me, and we slid to the floor and kissed all the way down, slipping all over each other.
———
Yeah, well, thats it. Spelling typos and all. A lot of the dialogue is based on some real-life wackiness…
-argus
